And I’m not gonna talk about it here

It’s boring D:

I’ll tell ya some stuff anyway.. I am taking part in making a Pagan website with a few other people.. that will be fun. I switched around the furniture in my room. I started going to the gym, lost 9 pounds, and stopped going >.>;. My computer got busted, so I got it fixed and replaced the graphics card. I bought a shit-ton of makeup. I made new friends. I bought a webcam. I’m starting to make vids for YouTube. I’m getting in touch with old friends more often. I went to Universal Studios Hollywood… twice. My parents finally know I don’t want to be  a Christian.. but I’ve yet to tell them about being Pagan. I’m getting in touch with my goth side again. I’m trying to dress like a girl now.. not so successful but I’m not giving up. I’m gonna learn how to play drums. My GH3 game got busted, so I bought GH2.. I was disappointed with Hangar 18.. it’s one of my favorite songs and they killed it  T_T. What else…. what else… what else? Meh.. can’t remember.

See ya..

…So I won’t be talking about that here

What I did want to talk about is how many people think they’re Wiccan, when fact is… they’re not!

Ok, so these little teen fluffies think that they can call themselves Wiccan after reading a book by Silver Ravenwolf… and that’s it. That’s all they think they need.

First of all, in order for a person to be Wiccan, they need to be initiated into a lineaged coven so that they can learn all the oathbound material that they need to learn so that they can practice Wicca. Silver Ravenwolf is NOT a Wiccan. In her books, she has a lot of wrong information. For someone who has claimed that she has been initiated into a Wiccan coven, she should have had more accurate information. But no… she’s ass-raping the religion, shitting on it,  covering it with a shit-ton of glitter and fluff, wrongfully calling it Wicca… and then she sells it to impressionable teens.

Links on Ravenwolf to check out:

http://wicca.timerift.net/ravenwolf.shtml

http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/vanthal/608/id57.htm

http://www.ecauldron.net/opedtarnishedsilver.php

Second of all, people who are serious about learning about a religion cannot learn everything there is to learn about a religion by simply reading one book… I don’t know if I can say the same for Christianity because most Christians claim that everything a person has to learn is in their Bible, but some people can’t make up their minds whether to take it literally or figuratively, and there are books that can help with that, so I think you need more than the Bible to help you learn what Christianity is about. Plus, it takes a long time for someone to actually learn about a religion. People cannot learn about a religion in one sitting with some book, it’s impossible!

Those little fluffies still don’t get it though… Damn that Silver Ravenwolf and all those other similar authors for drilling all this bullshit into the heads of little teens just so that they can make lots of money… making the rest of us more-informed people clean up your messes.

Just to be clear, I’m not Wiccan. But I bet I can write a more decent and more well-informed book than those other impostors like Ravenwolf.

If anyone is interested in Wicca, these are suggestions for you. I found this list on Gaia (gaiaonline.com), posted by a user: Scorplett… a real Wiccan.

“scorplett”

My Suggested Reading list

WICCA ORIENTED AND BY REAL WICCAN AUTHORS

The Alex Sanders Lectures – Alex Sanders

Witchcraft Today – Gerald Gardner

The Meaning of Witchcraft – Gerald Gardner

A Witches Bible (or ‘What Witches Do and Eight Sabbat’s for Witches) – Stewart Farrar

Wicca- The Old in the New Age – Vivienne Crowley

Charge of the Goddess – Doreen Valiente

Circle of Fire – Sorita D’Este

Lid off the Cauldron – Patricia Crowther

Rebirth of Witchcraft – Doreen Valiente

Dancing with Witches – Lois Bourne

Religion Without Beliefs – Fred Lammond

NEO-PAGANISM AND ECLECTIC WITCHCRAFT

Witchcraft for Tomorrow – Doreen Valiente

Witchcrafting – Phillis Currot

Elements of Ritual – Deborah Lipp

Spiral Dance – Starhawk

Drawing Down the Moon – Margot Adler

Magical Rites from the Crystal Well – Ed Fitch

Coven Craft: Witchcraft for Three or More – Amber K

Ethics and the Craft – John J. Coughlin

The Truth About Witchcraft – Hanz Holzer

The Paganism Reader – Chas Clifton

TRADITIONAL WITCHCRAFT

Mastering Witchcraft – Paul Huson

Conversations with a Witch – Lois Bourne

The Forge of Tubal Cain – Ann Finnin

The Crooked Path Journal (Various Contributors)

Hedge Rider – Eric de Vries

Sorgitzak: Old Forest Craft – Veronica Cummer

ACADEMIC HISTORIES OF WICCA AND WITCHCRAFT

Triumph of The Moon – Ronald Hutton

Wiccan Roots: Gerald Gardner and the Modern Witchcraft Revival (also as: Gerald Gardner and the Cauldron of Inspiration: An Investigation into the Sources of Gardnerian Witchcraft)– Philip Heselton

Her Hidden Children: The Rise of Wicca And Paganism in America – Chas S. Clifton

The Pickengill Papers-The Origin of the Gardnerian Craft – W.E. Liddell

WITCHCRAFT AND MAGIC IN EUROPE: (a 6 Volume series), edited by Bengt Ankarloo and Stuart Clark

Vol 1 Biblical and Pagan Societies

Vol 2 Ancient Greece and Rome

Vol 3 The Middle Ages

Vol 4 The Period of the Witch Trials

Vol 5 The 18th & 19th Centuries

Vol 6 The 20th Century

Early Modern Witches: Witchcraft Cases in Contemporary Writing Edited by Marion Gibson

HISTORICAL WITCHCRAFT TEXTS

Malleaus Mallifacarum

The White Goddess – Graves

The new Golden Bough – Frazer

Aradia: Gospel of the Witches – Leyland

A Witchcult in Western Europe – Murray

REFERANCE TEXTS

ABC of Witchcraft – Doreen Valiente

The Witches God – Farrar

The Witches Goddess – Farrar

Spells to Change Your Life – Lois Bourne

Spells and how they work – Farrar

PSYCHOLOGY TEXTS (i.e Lots of Jung!)

Man and His Symbols – Carl Jung

The Undiscovered Self – Carl G. Jung

The Archetypes and The Collective Unconscious – Carl G. Jung

Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle – Carl G. Jung

The Undiscovered Self – Carl G. Jung

Psychology and Religion (The Terry Lectures Series) – Carl G. Jung

BIOGRAPHIES

King of the Witches – June Johns

Fire Child: The Life & Magic of Maxine Sanders ‘Witch Queen’ – Maxine Sanders

Fifty Years of Wicca – Frederic Lammond

Diary of a Witch – Sybil Leek

Gerald Gardner: Witch – Jack L Bracelin

High Priestess – Patricia Crowther

Witch Amongst Us – Lois Bourne

Witches Speak – Aronld and Patricia Crowther [RARE BOOK]

CEREMONIAL MAGICK AND OCCULT/MYSTICISM TEXTS

Magick in theory and practice – Crowley

The Kabbalah unveiled – Mathers

The Tree of Life: An Illustrated Study in Magic – Israel Regardie

The Training & Work of an Initiate – Dion Fortune

FICTION

Sea Priestess – Dion Fortune

High Magic’s Aid – Scire (Gerald Gardner)

Witches Were For Hanging (Paperback) FICTION – Patricia Crowther

OPEN SOURCE

There are a fair few books that are available open source if you don’t mind reading off a computer screen! Some of them might be a little heavy going for the beginner, but they are all classic texts on Wicca and Witchcraft

The Golden Bough

by Sir James George Frazer

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/frazer/index.htm

The Witch-Cult in Western Europe

by Margaret Alice Murray

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/wcwe/index.htm

Aradia; Gospel of the Witches

by Charles G. Leland

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/aradia/index.htm

Etruscan Roman Remains in Popular Tradition

by Charles Godfrey Leland

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/err/index.htm

Letters on Demonology and Witchcraft

by Sir Walter Scott

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/scott/index.htm

The Sorceress (La Sorcière) by Jules Michelet

translation by Afred Richard Allinson

http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/sor/index.htm

Witchcraft Today (PDF) – by Gerald Gardner

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/wisewoman/WiccaWitchcraftToday.pdf

The Meaning of Witchcraft – Gerald Gardner

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/wisewoman/TheMeaningofWitchcraft.doc

High Magics Aid – A ‘fictional’ book by Gerald Gardner

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/wisewoman/HighMagicsAid.doc

Gerald Gardner: Witch – attributed to Jack Bracelin but actually written by Idries Shah http://homepage.ntlworld.com/wisewoman/GeraldGardnerWitch[1].rtf

God of the Witches (PDF) – by Dr Margaret Murray,

http://www.thewica.co.uk/godwitch.pdf

The following are some rare and out of print books by the Crowthers.

The Secrets of Ancient Witchcraft With the Witches Tarot by Arnold Crowther (Hardcover – Jun 1974)

Witchcraft in Yorkshire by Patricia Crowther (Unknown Binding – 1973)

From Stagecraft to Witchcraft: The Early Years of a High Priestess by Patricia Crowther

The Zodiac Experience: Initiation Through the Twelve Signs – Patricia Crowther

I’m bored as hell,  so I’m making my own tinted lip balm. I went crazy and made one with a color that doesn’t suit me… or anyone else for that matter. It’s a silvery, bluish, purple. I tried mixing other colors with it (the little bit I put on my lips), but none work… it just looks worse. I guess I’ll leave it as a cream eyeshadow since it’d be awesome for that. My hands and desk are all shimmery now with the mess I’ve made. I’ll clean it up later on after I’ve had some sleep. Right now I’ll go wash my hands and put away my makeup. I’ll probably try to go to sleep right away after that, since I’m tired. I guess I shouldn’t stay up this late if I’m tired, but I’ve been cleaning stuff all day and I needed some time to myself. Spring break sucks so far… let’s see how the rest of the week goes… I might go to Universal Studios Hollywood. Can’t wait for that ^_^

See ya..

I’ll tell you where the fuck I was.

I’ve been at home and at school for most of the past month, or however long it was since I last posted. Busy with work, and feeling like shit. My blood pressure isn’t so great, so I’ve also started exercising and trying to eat healthier. It worked for a bit. But my dumbass thought that it’d be alright to pig out a few times because I felt better, but now I feel like shit again. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been stressing out so much.

-sigh-

I’ve been browsing the web almost every day, but not for enough time to actually sit down and type something long and semi-meaningful, if at all meaningful… except for those arguments with some Christian dude on homosexuality. All I’m getting from him is that the main reason that homosexuality is wrong is just because his god says it’s wrong, and that should be good enough for everyone… bunch o’ bollocks if you ask me.

I guess this is good enough of an update, my bed is looking very comfortable right now.

See ya…

I’ve been going to my new classes for a week, they seem pretty cool. Although I’ve hardly had any homework, I still find myself very busy with other things, mostly family related, and I come home pretty late, so that leaves me no time to do some stuff that I would like to do. I’ll be able to do most of my homework at school because I take a shuttle that takes students back and forth from the main campus to an educational center near where I live, and I have about 2 hours to spend while I wait for it… unless the schedule changes, but I guess I’ll still take it at the same time because I never get to do my homework at home since I’m always kept busy with chores and other stuff that my parents don’t want to do themselves.

I’ve been thinking about the poetry thing I wanted to do, and I tried coming up with new poems, but I fail at coming up with something to write about. I haven’t had any inspiration lately. I have to get my mind working again.. get all the creative juices flowing again.

I was supposed to go to Universal Studios Hollywood today, but those plans were cancelled because it was raining. A lot of good things are being cancelled for one reason or another… this sucks balls, man!

I’m supposed to be getting ready for classes tomorrow, so I’ll cut this short.

See ya…

I finally got to go to Olive Garden yesterday, and what people said was true. The food is sooooo gooooood! I had the Four Cheese Stuffed Mezzaluna with Shrimp. I wish I had some more right now. It’s too bad that this is only available for a limited time.

I’m finally done with speech class and I’m on my break, unfortunately I only have two days left of it. Hopefully this semester won’t be as stressful. I’ll only have three classes.. four if you count the P.E. class. I’m very out of shape, so I chose to take this class, and maybe I’ll lose some weight.

What else… what else? Damn, I forgot what else I wanted to say. Oh well…

Man, I really have no luck. I still haven’t had Olive Garden food. Plans have changed twice since the last time I posted. The final change was made to Friday… it better be on Friday or else I’m gonna lose it! I’ve heard so much about how awesome the food there is, and I just want in on that awesomeness. No fair… T_T

I am sooo tired of doing my work. It has taken a toll on my health, seriously. I’ve heard that working too hard is bad for your health but I never thought it could be true until now that it’s happened to me. I can’t wait for the three days of vacation until next semester starts…. woo hoo? Meh… I’ll probably spend them doing chores, watching movies, and wasting my life away on the internet.

I’m very tired right now, but I’m not sleepy. I’m never sleepy at night for some reason. During any time of the day, if I’m tired and I just flop myself down on my bed, I’ll knock out very quickly. During any time of the night, if I’m tired and I just flop myself down on my bed, I’ll stay awake for about 3 hours before falling asleep. Being nocturnal is inconvenient for me these days. So right now, I’ll put my work aside since I’m confident I’ll finish it later on today, ready for Wednesday, and I’ll just watch some TV to help me fall asleep.

See ya…

Still no Olive Garden for me… bleh. Plans keep changing. It now turns out that we’ll go tomorrow. I hope this is the last time plans change because I’m getting pissed.

Also, it turns out that my mom wants to wake me and my siblings up early so that we can go to church in the morning. I can’t believe she still forces me to go. It pisses me off that she doesn’t let me have control of what I should believe in.

I’ve been pissed off the whole day today. I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I got woken up after like 5 hours of sleep to babysit my cousin. Then I got about 1 more hour of sleep. Then I had to do all the chores in the house because my mom went to work and my sister had to go to some church thing all day. Then I wanted to shower, and after like 2 minutes in the shower I got kicked out by my dad because he needed to shower so that he could go to work. So I had to get out, wet, and I had to iron a shirt for him. Then it turns out that the church thing involved a meeting for the parents, but my parents couldn’t go so they made me do it. It lasted for two hours and honestly, I really didn’t have to be there. It was a talk for the parents and my parents would have had more benefit in going there than me. It was useless for me to be there.. it was a waste of my time. When I finally got home, like around 6 pm, I was hungry and then my mom comes home and makes me help her make dinner. I would have been happy to help her if she wasn’t being a bitch to me. I haven’t had the chance to work on my homework until after 7:30. I’m on a break right now. I really wanted to get started on my homework hours ago. But I didn’t get the chance. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t start doing it today. I started working on it on Thursday, and I’m still continuing. I seriously need more time to finish it and my family is just taking my time away from me.  How can they expect me to do well in school like this? And it’s not only today that I have had my time taken away from me.

I only have one class this semester, but it’s a 5 week class, so everything is rushed and compacted. My family thinks that just because I have one class, that I have all the time in the world to do the stuff they want me to do. It is not like that. Since the class is rushed, I have to be working everyday, outside of class, doing whatever I can do to get my work done. In case you’re wondering, it is speech class and right now I have to work on an 8 to 10 minute speech that was assigned to me on Tuesday… and it’s due Wednesday. I have to do research on it and right now I’m limited on time. I’m cramming as much time as I can on doing my work, and it’s taking a toll on me. Right now, I’ve spent an hour and a half just researching stuff and I’m tired of it. After this, I’ll do like 3 more hours.. hopefully. I’m thinking about getting a job, but I don’t have time for it. But I really need it because I want to move out of my parents’ house so that I could have some freedom and more time to study.

I’m in a tough situation right now, and it’s not only because of what happened today. It’s a whole mess of things that have been happening and I’m getting tired of everything. Sometimes I just feel like giving everything up and just crawling into bed and sleep… just sleep, with nothing to worry about, nothing to do, no getting pissed off, no stressing. I’ve been sick too, so some bed rest might be good for me. But no. I can’t. I have to finish my work, and I have to get through this situation that I’m in. I don’t know how I’ll do that, but I know how I’ll start. Right now I’ll make myself some chamomile iced tea, and I’m gonna get back to doing my work, and I’m gonna get as much of it done as I can before I go to sleep. And if I have to stop doing my work for some lame reason from my parents, I’ll tell them that I’m too busy doing my work and that I will appreciate it if they left me alone.

Yesterday, my teacher found out that it was my birthday on wednesday and he mentioned it out loud, then the whole class started singing the happy birthday song to me. It was kinda funny and cool at the same time

It turns out that the plans for going to Olive Garden were moved to today so that we wouldn’t have to go out to eat so late. The good thing is that the plans weren’t cancelled, so I’m happy about that. And there’s still some ice cream cake left over that I plan on finishing up today, hehe. But if I wake up late, like I usually do, someone else might eat it.. and I’d be pissed >.>

Anyway, I think I may start writing poetry again. I haven’t done it in a very long time. I don’t plan on doing any drawings or comics any time soon.

Bleh… I’m bored right now. It’s almost 1 am here. I can’t do anything fun right now because I’ll wake everyone up, and I don’t want that. But I can’t sleep either. I’ll find something to entertain me.. somehow. I’d like to read, but I can’t have any lights on.. Oh well..

About 10 people have wished me a happy birthday… that’s more than last year, so I’m pretty happy about that.

What? Is that a little bit of people? Meh… at least I’m remembered by people who I thought didn’t really give a shit, and that’s good enough for me.

So.. I’m 20 now, but I really don’t feel special. I don’t get that happy, cheery feeling I used to get years ago. I did, however, get ice cream cake and it was the most delicious cake I’ve ever eaten… seriously!

I’ll be celebrating my birthday more officially tomorrow everning at Olive Garden.. can’t wait for the good food, hehe.